December 2, 2006
This is scary. I am very excited, scared and anxious all at the same time. I was going down the baby aisle at Walgreen this evening...Thinking "what am I doing", "have I lost my mind?" They have changed so much in the baby world since I had Elizabeth Grace. I mean I would just be flat out lying if I didn't say I wasn't scared. My daughter and I sat in the bathroom this evening and we just cried and talked. She kept telling me, " I am not prepared, I am not prepared." (she is 7) I was like what's the matter baby, and she said" I am not prepared to not have a mommy and daddy for 2weeks". Ok at this point I am crying. Then she throws out the ole' "why do we need to adopt". Which is totally interpretable as...I am not going to be number one anymore and I am scared...What if she doesn't like me, what if I don't like her...This is a lot for a 7 yr old to have to think about. She has been asking me questions all week about who my favorite girl is and I assure her she is my favorite girl and Sophie is my favorite baby. I know there are so many of you praying for Bert, me and Sophie. But please don't forget my other 3 at home. Pray God gives them peace while they are at grandma's. And that they will understand our love for them will not diminish but only grow stronger. I know they are going to just fall in love with Sophie and our lives are going to be so richly blessed.
at 11:20 PM